happy birthday someone
this is what dreams are made of
Sweet dreams are made of cheese
Who am I to disagree
Ok, that’s enough. Now return my spawn, human
Hi friends this is a little reminder to charge your phone, take your meds, drink enough water, get enough sleep, and listen to lots of music!! Your well-being and happiness is of utmost importance and I hope you take time to take care of yourself.
boys r so weak. boys r some pathetic shit. if u punch me in the boob my boob will still b able to sustain life for a new fuckin human. my boob can sustain the human race. if i kick u boys hard enough in the nuts u will never reproduce. ur genetic line is over bub. one well placed stiletto and u are getting shitty half-assed boners and no babies 4 life. who has the power son. who owns u. girls own u. i own u punk. sit down
"Help, I’ve fallen glamorously and I can’t get up ;]"
All of the other mannequins look like they’re so sick of his shit.
"God damn it, Jerry’s at it again.
Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.
MY MILK POURED OUT INTO LIKE A CORKSCREW PATTERN??? WHAT
WHY IS THIS MILK IN A BAG WAt
WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE MILK IN A BAG THING EVERY TIME GODDAMN IT ITS LITERALLY MILK IN A FUCKING BAG WHAT IS SO HARD TO GRASP ABOUT THE CONCEPT
Why are you eating oatmeal with milk
This post is an international nightmare
i think ppl should draw smooches more because basically if you can draw a heart you can draw a KISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i mean these are simple smooch poses but… they are so fun 2 do *_*
THIS CROW FUCKING UNDERSTANDS WATER DISPLACEMENT. WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO BE TOLD EVERY YEAR BY A TEACHER HOW WATER DISPLACEMENT WORKS. DO THEY THINK I’M LESS INTELLIGENT THAN A FUCKING CROW? FUCKING DONE.
Crows discovered the principle of displacement in the third century BC, when the philosopher Awkimedes, upon noticing the level of his bird bath rose in proportion with the amount of his body that was submerged, reportedly exclaimed “EURECAW!” and flew through the streets of Athens shouting his discovery.
Tumblr will believe anything smfh. The law that’s being described is Archimedes’ Principle and Archimedes of Syracuse(the guy who discovered this) said Eureka, not Eurecaw.